I dont understand. What have I done. What do I always seem to fuck up. Why am I a piece of shit. Literally what have I done. I applied to college and I dodnt get in and that was my fault? I hate you to the ends of this earth. You know what makes me angry? YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU I HATE YOU WITH MY EVERY FIBER YOU ARE THE BIGGEST PIECE OF INSIGNIFICANT INSUFFERABLE SHIT THIS WORLD HAS EVER BEEN DISGRACED WITH. YOU THINK YOURE A GOOD MOM BUT YOURE NOT. I hate you to this fucking core of my body that I wish would cease functioning. Kill me just do it just run me over you piece of shit. You dont think much of me do you? You really don’t. Well I can’t stand you. I need to cut the fucking strings

:-( fat and ugly and a girl sigh

I dont consider myself a girl but I’m going to be mean to myself and put me down because let’s squash all instances of hope and happiness because I’m an ugly piece of SHIT

THERE IS NO POINT TO ME THERE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING G G GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TO LIVE FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MY HPOE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO USELESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHY CAN’T I GIVE UP WHY CAN’T I DO IT

DO IT DO IT DO it heh do it kid dO IT murder yourself suicide yeah???? yeah???? yeah??????????///

why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there isn’t ANYTHING in this world I would bother to stick around for

as far as I’m concerned nothing is going to happen I’ve lost hope I’m just a mouse running in it’s wheel. I’m doing work and going no where

there is no one else in this cage of mine. who put me in this cage

I did

I cdan’t get out

how do I get out

why can’t I get out

what is outside

nothing

no one is there for me. no one can fix me. no one wants to fix me either

I am broken

there is no worth in me I am nothing

I am absolutely nothing. nothingness. nothing to be proud of. no skills. no talents. no positive attributes. I don’t make life any better for myself or others. I only make things worse. I am a burden. I am costly. I am stupid

I hate me

I hate me so much. I hate me times as many stars in this infinite universe. 

I am not skillful or smart. not funny or witty. not nice or caring. not interesting or talented…… I am not even pretty or handsome or cool

there is nothing positive to say about me

I have no friends……………………………………………………………………….

I push others away

I hate myself. I hate myself……… I hate myself

I HATE MYSELF I FUCKING HATE MYSELF I DESPISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

KILL ME??????????????? KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STAB ME IN THE HEART NOT FIGURATIVELY STAB ME LITERALLY I’M SO MAD AT MYSELF I FUCKING HATE ME

FUCK

ME

USELESS WORTHLESS PATHETIC THERE IS NO POINT IN EVEN WRITING THESE BECAUSE THEY”RE ALL THE FUCKING SAME THEY’RE ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH I CANNOT BEAR MY OWN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING EXISTENCE AND I JUST RECYCLE AND REUSE THE SAME FUCKING WORDS TO EXPRESS THE SAME EMOTION

MY LIFE IS FUCKING MEANINGLESS

I SHOULD JUST MAKE ONE FUCKING MASTERPOST OF EVERY NEGATIVE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO SUM UP MY BEING AND REBLOG IT EVERY SECOND TO REMIND MYSELF OF THE GARBAGE THAT I AM IN ALL THE VARIOUS FORMS I COME IN 

ALL OF WHICH ARE SHIT 

am I really a boy? am I really a girl? what am I? I really can’t say for sure…

I don’t like the pronoun they.. I don’t feel like it suits me. I don’t think feminine pronouns suit me either.

"She’s just confused. That’s my daughter. She’s going to be an electrical engineer. I don’t know much about her. She’s kind of weird. Is she a girl?"

"He’s a little ridiculous. That’s my son. He’s going to be an ESL teacher. I think his heart is in the right place, but his head is somewhere else. He’s always day dreaming. Is he a boy?"

"They’re a little depressed. That’s my child. They’re going to finish college. I think they’re doing alright, but they seem a little stressed. They’re a good child. They are neither a boy or a girl"

I just don’t know. Like I feel like I’d feel most comfortable being a boy, but when I imagine that maybe I might abandon this “identity” I just become sad. but at the same time I don’t want to be viewed as a feminine person or a “lesbian” or like… anything girlfriendish. I would best associate myself with a little boy. Is that normal? Like an androgynous small boy. I’m not exactly masculine but I’m not exactly feminine. I prefer male pronouns and I would probably wear androgynous clothing forever but what if I like to wear short shorts and tanktops too?

Clothing doesn’t define gender… I keep imagining myself wanting to dress “”“”girly”“”” in the future but what I mean is like.. short shorts! And boys wear short shorts too! Boys can be feminine! What if I’m a feminine boy! So what!!! I’m still a boy right?! Boys can do anything girls can do and vice versa!!

I want to paint my nails and wear short shorts and maybe put my lil short hair in a pony tail but I can still be a BOY! So WHAT! 

but really does anyone besides other transgendered people and pansexuals even like transgendered people 

not that I’m attractive to anyone but fuck?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

if I imagine myself being appreciated I would like to be appreciated like a cute boy I just hope that I don’t get dated because I’m a cute girl I just

I’m making myself cry over things that haven’t happened in the past 2 decades and most likely with almost 99.999999999% certainty won’t happen in the next 2 decades either

I’m a lowly piece of shit who is the dumbest and definitely the lowest on the totem pole fuck me just chop me with an ax